The Huge Problem With Bert And Ernie Being Gay

Liberals are rejoicing after a Sesame Street writer announced that Bert and Ernie are a gay couple.

There’s just one problem with that. They’re freaking puppets.

The writer, Mark Saltzman, said that he wrote the characters to reflect his own gay marriage, but a spokesperson for Sesame Street Workshop says that those revelations are false.

“As we have always said, Bert and Ernie are best friends. They were created to teach preschoolers that people can be good friends with those who are very different from themselves,” the spokesperson told TMZ. “Even though they are identified as male characters and possess many human traits and characteristics (as most Sesame Street Muppets™ do), they remain puppets, and do not have a sexual orientation.”

(For what it’s worth, Saltzman has been writing for Sesame Street since 1984. Bert and Ernie have been around since the late 60’s, long before Saltzman’s arrival.)

That hasn’t stopped Saltzman from spreading the lie, and trying to push the notion that puppets have a sexual orientation. Alas, that’s the world we live in. People are so obsessed with caring about who others sleep with they assume that puppets, who don’t exist below he waist, are sexually interested in other puppets.

Please see our statement below regarding Bert and Ernie. pic.twitter.com/6r2j0XrKYu — Sesame Workshop (@SesameWorkshop) September 18, 2018

Imagine the mental gymnastics one has to do to come to the conclusion that a puppet is “interested” in a fellow puppet. Surely Saltzman knows that puppets aren’t real… right? RIGHT?!

Longtime Sesame Street puppeteer, Frank Oz, said that “It seems Mr. Mark Saltzman was asked if Bert & Ernie are gay. It’s fine that he feels they are. They’re not, of course. But why that question? Does it really matter? Why the need to define people as only gay? There’s much more to a human being than just straightness or gayness.”

Unfortunately people these days seem to care more about who a person sleeps with than they do about their actual accomplishments. People sadly aren’t interested in things that benefit the world, and would rather spend time thinking about a puppet’s sexual orientation.

The whole thing is stupid, and shouldn’t even have to be discussed, but that’s what happens when we are dealing with stupid people. The kind of people who think a puppet can be romantic with another puppet. It’s all pretend.

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